I have naturally wavy hair, fine in texture and mousy brown in colour. Add gel or conditioner, and the whole affair falls flat. Conversely, my husband has coarse, thick, poker straight, jet-black hair that stands straight up with the requisite gel.
Since we adopted Theo, his hair has been a focus of constant attention. He has a full head of fast-growing loose African curls, something neither of us has any experience with. Grownups want to run their hands through it, strangers ask to pat him on the head (yes, really), and little children show him who’s boss by grabbing him by the curls.
Yes, I have naturally curly hair.
It took a week to shake the sand out of his hair after a day at the beach, and every visit to the park means pebbles in the hair. He’s at an age where he picks things up and throw them backwards over his shoulder or head, and this applies to sand, pebbles and assorted food items. I’ve scrubbed sticky banana out of his hair and regularly pick cookie and cracker crumbs out of his curls with my fingers. I’ve never combed his hair and noticed recently that was starting to look like it needed some help.
Rather than break out the razor, I decided to ask his birthparents for their advice. We all agreed that a little Afro would be super cute but would require some attention. They advised us to wash his hair no more than once a week, put baby oil in it at night and comb out the tangles with a wide-tooth comb regularly so it does not become matted.
It felt great to be able to ask his birthparents in person how best to care for his fantastic curls. Now if I could only figure out what to do with my hair…
Open adoption working at its finest!
Yey!
and btw, this: “It took a week to shake the sand out of his hair after a day at the beach” made me laugh. Thank God I know you guys are good parents.
The things you would never think you’d need to ask.
That is great that you have that opportunity.
Love this post.
I have the world’s straightest, finest hair. I swear it. I would have no idea how to care for curly hair. It’s so great that you have Theo’s birthparents to turn to for advice.
How fantastic that you asked. Fantastic for everyone.
Oh my gosh, I hadn’t thought of the food factor! It’s difficult enough to get banana out of Lilah’s super fine tendrils. She sure loves “playing with” Theo’s hair, though!
Sounds like a win-win situation – I’m sure his birthparents were as thrilled to offer their advice as you were to receive it!
P.S. I wouldn’t have guessed that YOU have “hair issues”… but then, who doesn’t, really?
I thought Theo’s hair looked adorable today. You hair was pretty cute, too.
sorry for the typo. Your hair, not you hair.
Yep, know the feeling, people do it to my kid’s hair as well. He’s got the Mr T look down pat. Twists would look good too!
That is a great story and how fantastic that you can involve his birth parents into something like this. African hair is really different than our hair. I know this from the hair tales I hear at work from a few nurses who wear weaves and wigs and put a lot of effort and energy into their hair do.
That’s great. You should check out happygirlhair.com for great advice and tips for african american hair care.
I would have done that same thing: asked his birth parents. That’s great that they were able to advise you! On another note, I can never seem to get the sand out of my hair (or the rest of my body for that matter) when I come back from the beach. It seems to linger for days.
When I was 10, my parents took under their wings a single mother from the West Indies. She was pregnant when we first met her. I remember going to the hospital when the baby was born and after his birth she spent many many hours at our house. I remember watching her bath him and after the bath she would give him a full body massage from head to toe with baby oil. He loved it and I remember that afterwards he would smell so good and be all shiny and glowy. I remember the oil shimmering in his curls. As soon as you mentioned oiling Theo’s hair it took me right back to bathnight more than 20 years ago.
How lucky that you had his birth parents to ask. I would never have thought to oil a baby’s hair.