This week’s “Listacles” topic came from Greta at Not Enough Patience and Never Enough Jewelry: 10 things you said you’d never do but have caught yourself doing.
Ten things I said I’d never do as a parent:
1. Feed my child pre-packaged snacks. Only whole grains and home-made EVERYTHING for my child. Picky eaters are spoiled children!
Talking 'bout snacktime.
2. Lie in his room until he falls asleep at night or at naptime. I was not going to spend half my day in bed.
3. Talk baby talk: “Do you want a ‘juicy’? Be careful, hottie owie! Did you broke it?”
4. Judge children who are well-behaved. Well actually, I never said that but I do now. What I really said was: “I’ll never let my child run wild like that.” Eh hem…
Ice balls!
5. Let my toddler play with my iPhone, laptop, desktop…
6. Let my child watch TV (at all) let alone have The Wiggles take a turn at parenting. Why thanks Murray.
7. Be ridiculously urban and indulgent. “Let’s all go to a café and get lattes.”
8. Write a blog post, check my twitter account or send an email while Theo does …. wait a minute … “Theo! Theo! Where are you?!”
9. Fall into gender stereotypes: “He’s SUCH a boy. Look at him go with those monster trucks!”
10. Listen to “his” music in the car when I’d rather listen to CBC. All together now: “Mama put the popcorn kernels in the pot …” ! (Snacktime, Barenaked Ladies)
BONUS 11: Talk endlessly to anyone who will listen about my superfantabulous child.
He did this thing, and it was HILARIOUS!
What did you say you’d NEVER do before you had children?
Love it!!
i said i’d never have a child …
hahahahahaha me too.
Yey! I don’t have kids, but here are mine:
Never going to let my kid eat in the grocery store.
Not going to spoil my kid at Christmas because that’s not what Christmas is about.
Not going to make my baby wear designery baby clothes that are meant to make him look like a small adult.
If my kid ever whines about not getting some sort of present… hoooo boy.
My kid won’t have a cell phone until he/she is old enough to pay for the entire thing start to finish.
If my kid can afford to modify his/her car, they can afford to live on their own.
I think that’s it. For now.
Good luck! *lol*
Harriet Fancott harriet@karmavore.com
Guilty for pretty much every single one! Most of all, the judging other people’s kids. What did I know? Nothing as it turns out. Yup, my kids are often the wild ones.
Oh, dear, I’ve done all of these. Especially number 7, as we now live within walking distance of a Starbucks. Can you say cheap, easy outing? Oh, yes! Also must make a mention that I have a Theo, too, and so I laughed extra at number 8, having said the same thing more times than I care to admit!
The Wiggles? I know nothing of them. Really.
Oh, and we don’t have any baristas at Starbucks who make comments like ” he’s 3 already? I remember when he was a tiny baby!”
Love this comment B!!!
You and I are like two peas in the pod. I also always said I will never bother my husband with all the kid details when he gets back from work but somehow I never have anything but “guess what your son did today!”
Awesome and so funny H! And Theo is sooooo cool!
ALL of the above!
I said I would never subject friends and coworkers to constant photos… did you see how big my child is getting? Um, the wiggles live here too.. In fact… I confess we have seen them twice in concert and LOVED them! Wake up Jeff! I said I wouldnt let her eat chocolate until she is 5 but Santa kind of ruined that one… I said I would always take natural photos of her and no posed store photos but a ten dollar deal at Sears! Come on who can say no to that? I said I would never let her eat in the car (as I vacuum the 400th fish cracker from the floor).. I said I would never let her eat McDonalds and yet she is still healthy and growing well after the occasional french fry. In all, I am like you…. A LOT! But they are happy, healthy and thats all we really want right? p.s. I loved this post!
Ha ha! Our car is a disaster! Photos, well over 1,000 and counting – what you haven’t seen them all – do come over. *lol*
Harriet Fancott harriet@karmavore.com
I love you all so much. This is what the people who think we snipe at each other for being bad mothers and lazy stay-at-home Moms or selfish working Moms need to hear – no no, we all get together and trade stories about how BAD we all are. “Wait, wait, today I was the WORST MOTHER EVER!”. We’re just back from vacation, where my kids had Coke and french fries every single damned day. I felt like I should order them to run with scissors just to round out the week.
LOVED this. I was all head shaking on this one.
1.I never thought I’d put my kids to bed in their school clothes to make it easier to get out the door in the morning. (Hey sheets are kind of clean, and are pJ’s really necessary during the week)?
2. I never thought I’d be shaving down my kid’s head in winter to avoid another screaming match about combs, picks, and hair care. I never thought I’d be arguing about not going to the white barber just because he gives better lolipops either. (He doesn’t cut as well as the Black barber–and he doesn’t offer the world the Black barber does either. Oh don’t get started Mama C!!!) Of course I am the worst stylist, I have no lolipops, but I am free!
3. I never thought I’d ever EVER say; “Do you know there are children who would love to eat this delicious meal all over the world! No a BAR is not a fruit!”
4. I never thought I’d be sleeping in my son’s bed, so they can both sleep in my bed, and I can SLEEP.
Sleep fully dressed! Genius!
Yell. I was never going to yell. Now I put that on my daily to-(not)do list.
Love this list…and of course the marvelous photos!
It’s funny- the more listicles I read, the more I think we are all the same person. haha! Super list!
ahhhahahahahah! Quite a few of those on your list, actually. Hubby is always warning me not to talk about the kid when we go out with adults. Whatever. It’s not like I have anything else to talk about.
Ha ha – seriously!
This is SO me. Good grief.
And I have the entire snacktime album memorized. Seriously. I knew you were refering to BNL from the first picture caption. I heard it as the song as I read it.
I’d much rather listen to the barenaked ladies snacktime cd than kids bop! But I also said I would never listen to that kid music….. Have you tried Caspar Babypants?!
I said I would never try to bribe her. I guess that’s why I keep fruit snacks and princess dolls in my purse. Oh, I also said she would never have princess dolls…
HILARIOUS!! Mine are pretty much all of your’s.
Except for the one I’ve stuck by, “no soda for my kid”! I saw a kid at the mall with Coca cola in his bottle. I mean he was two, but seriously, he has a bottle and your putting soda in it??
Oh my gosh, he looks so big in those photos!
I can’t listen to the CBC anymore in the car, lest I be forced to answer awkward questions about what “sexual assault” means when the news comes on. There are some things I still don’t really want to discuss with my daughter, even if she is almost seven.
I’m sure I could come up with some of my “nevers” but I have to go lie down with my kid so he’ll sleep.
Um, everything on your list for me, and then some. The TV one eats at me especially, but I think it is a result of reading too many snobby parenting blogs to be honest. I have been cutting such snooty blogs from my reader as part of my new years resolutions.
I swore Sebastian would eat only organic, not drink juice, not watch TV, only have wood toys. I definitely said that I wouldn’t stereotype but gender but OMG my kid is a BOY through and through.
I promised never to clean their faces with spit.
Can’t remember how long I held out but as they are 21 and 13 I categorically never clean their faces with spit these days
xo marie
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