“It’s exactly like Juno.” This is one of the most common responses we get when we tell people about our adoption. You know – the witty movie with the wisecracking teenager who gets pregnant after a one-night experiment with a friend and decides to place the baby for adoption.
Similarities to Juno
- The birthparents are teenagers and are still in a relationship together.
- The birthmom’s parents knew about her pregnancy.
- The birthmom and her mom considered abortion but rejected the idea in favour of adoption.
- The birthmom has a good sense of humour and is whip-smart.
- The birthmom selected the adoptive family(us).
- The adoptive mother’s pain is, to my mind, accurately reflected by Jennifer Garner in one of the film’s few poignant elements.
Differences
- The pregnancy was a secret and only close family members knew about it. Juno’s pregnancy was “out.”
- Our adoption is open after placement. We have now met nine family members. In the end, Juno decides on no-contact with the adoptive mother.
- Mark never had aspirations to be a rock star and as far as I know does not like horror movies.
- Mark has never hit on the birthmother (eek!)
- We are still married.
- I don’t think the movie, which is really a comedy, reflects the pain that a birthmother goes through when she places a baby for adoption. This is not a criticism merely an observation of a difference.
PS: I do recommend the movie if you have not seen it. It’s brave, funny, full of clever dialogue and Ellen Page gives a bravura performance.
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Loving the “post-a-day” Harriet. My resolution is to read “See Theo Run” every day for All of January!
You guys rock! Happy, healthy, hoppy 2010!
I”m glad you made that point about the birthmother. That was the one part of the movie that really jarred for me, and showed that Diablo, the writer, is not a mother herself (imo).
I know some birthmothers who were upset that the character is seen as basically blowing off the adoption and moving on to her happy little guitar-playing teen love story wiht her boyfriend.
Adoption has happened within my family. My aunt adopted out my cousin in a traditional closed adoption and years later they both found each other again. I’ve met my cousin and we have weird similarities in common. For instance, she came from a family that didn’t pursue higher education at all, and she has a PHD – more like my family where a lot of people have 2 or 3 degrees. We had very similar parenting philosophies etc. Makes me wonder about the strength of genetics.
Anyway, total props to you for having an open adoption. I’ll be reading 🙂
Great post, Harriet, one of my faves you’ve done so far. I love “Juno,” but you make some excellent points, especially about the struggles of the birthmother. You did miss one similarity though!: The adoptive father’s name in the movie is also Mark! Although, as you pointed out, that’s where the similarities between the two Marks end…fortunately!
As soon as I heard about the title I thought to myself, “I really hope that the similarities have nothing to do with Mark.” I’m glad to hear they don’t, because that bit was really weird.
I enjoyed the movie, and I cried at all the right bits. But I think it’s hard to portray the complex emotions in a film, while keeping the film entertaining. So, I don’t expect that it’s entirely accurate in its depiction.
The birth dads are both track stars. How could you forget Michael Cera’s short shorts? 😉
Love the resolution, keep it comin’.
Hear hear! I watched Juno while pregnant and enjoyed all of it but for the birth mother’s casual attitude at the end. I was like what??? The rest of the movie was fun, ooh yeah, except the spousal abuse.
How weird that you’d have people making comparisons of your life to movies like that. I guess people want to try to understand, but it seems like such a likely sensitive subject to just throw movies at the issue. Hm.
I loved Juno. 🙂
“Our adoption is open after placement. We have now met nine family members.
So the birth family drops in and becomes part of your family in an open adoption?
…I have so many questions. 🙂
I really enjoyed Juno but I left that movie feeling horribly sad. I think that the sadness was because Juno didn’t seem to feel much of anything when she gave away her child. She just gave the baby away without too much of a thought (seemingly). Still great film.
And I’m glad your husband isn’t emulating Jason Bateman’s character!
Hey Harriet, I’m so glad you wrote about the similarities and differences. I loved the movie, but was a little frustrated with parts of it.
You see, I’m adopted, and I can only imagine what my birth parents went through. They’re still married, and live on the island. The movie doesn’t really go into the pain they must have gone through with the decision.
I’m lucky enough to have found my mother’s side of the family, (through Facebook, believe it or not… I blogged about it if you ever want to read the story — Just search Facebook on my blog for the link), and I think your open adoption is going to be fabulous for everyone involved.
I would have probably had a far easier upbringing, feeling like I belonged to my family, if I could reach out to blood roots, if even occasionally, during my adolescent years especially.
Thanks for sharing your story through these posts. He’s adorable!
I missed this post the first time around. I am glad you mentioned it to someone on twitter last night.