Here are 12 things people (strangers, acquaintances, friends, family) frequently say or ask me about Theo.
Blowing off steam at QE Park.
- “He’s not shy is he?”
- “Is he Ethiopian?”
- “He has a big personality.”
- “He’s tall” / “He’s a big boy.”
- “Are you his mother?”
- “He’s sooooooo cute.” (Usually teenage girls)
- “He’s going to be an athlete.”
- “He’s got A LOT of energy.”
- “He’s so friendly!”
- “Why didn’t his [biological] grandparents raise him?”
- “I love his hair.”
- “He’s so LOUD.”
What do people say/ask about your kids?
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I’ve got a super-tall kid too. She was 24″ long at birth and is now almost 5 feet tall (with a size 6.5 ladies foot). And she’s eight.
Whoa! That’s really tall!
13. Theo’s a fricken cutie! 😀
(Ok, maybe it’s a little close to #6, but far more inappropriate. :D)
Aw… 😉
People often ask how old Jack is because he seems big for his age.
Didn’t ya know? Ethiopia is the only place people with dark skin come from!!
😉
Apparently!
“Look at that [white blonde] hair! Where did he get it from?”
“she’s only THREE?”
“she knows what she wants, doesn’t she?”
“she has a LOT of words”
“purple must be your favorite color”
and let’s not forget “do you ever see her mother?” (uh?)
“He’s so big”
“I love his hair!!”
“I love HER hair!”
“When are you going to cut his hair?”
“Is his dad Asian?”
I often get a version of #2. No one has yet to identify a specific country, but they generally assume we couldn’t possibly have adopted a black child domestically. And then they can’t quite figure out the proper way to ask the question they want to know, so they usually make it even more appropriate. Something like, “Where did you get him from?” Sometimes I try to think of a clever response, but usually I just reply with, “Cincinnati.” Most then are embarrassed enough to drop it, but the nurse who helped with his hernia surgery persisted in saying that he “looks so exotic.”
Oh yes. I often say, “here,” which leaves people baffled.
Wow…that picture looks like he’s jumping off a cliff! “He’s a daredevil, isn’t he?”
When my kids were 4 and 2 people used to ask if they were ‘really’ brothers. (one is blond & blue eyed and the other is dark and brown-eyed) As a sleep-deprived mother of two children under five I didn’t have an answer for that but “yup” which led to the inevitable “so you gonna try for a girl next?” That question led to profanity (mine) and that’s why when certain people in New west see me coming they turn and run.
Ha ha. Kidding! I think.
Oh good point. We do get people asking if we’re going to “try for another one.” … nope.
I get:
he’s so verbal!
where did he get his blonde hair from?
Isn’t he smart?
He’s tall, eh?
He’s short, eh?
He has big feet!
What a skinny kid.
(the one that makes me proud:) what a polite boy.
Yay for politeness! (working on that one!)
I get #4 and #5 pretty frequently, as well as #12. #6 comes up sometimes, too. Also:
“He’s so polite!” (usually does not occur with #12)
“Is he mixed?”
Loud AND POLITE! *LOL*
It’s usually not the same person saying those two things, FWIW. 😉
What always makes people laugh and say, “He’s so polite!” is when he’s pushing the cart at the grocery store and says, “Excuse me, man” or “Excuse me, lady.” He hasn’t gotten “sir” and “ma’am” yet, which somehow makes it all the more adorable. 😀
I get asked if mine are twins. When I respond that they’re 18 months apart I get “Whoa! You didn’t waste any time!”
I also get asked where the blonde hair and blue eyes come from. I have very dark hair but the blue eyes are mine, thank you very much!
We get “she’s so big!” (inexplicably said a lot when she first got here and was malnourished and less than the 25th percentile for height. Not big!)
“She’s so cute!” (thank you)
“I love her hair!” (so do I)
“She’s got something to say!” (indeed)
My son is very petite for his age. After being asked I told a stranger he was four. Stranger replied back: “are you sure?!”
I have people insist that Theo is a year older than he is. [Um no…]
It really surprises me the things people are ok saying about children. They would never go up to an adult and say these things!
1. He’s so big/chunky! He must get that from his father.
2. He’s soooo tired. Must be close to his nap. (he unfortunately has my dark circles)
3. Where do his blue eyes come from? [followed by some joke about the milkman]
4. Where does his red(ish) hair come from?
1. Oh what a sweetie
2. He’s got beautiful coloring
3. Are you his mother
4 where did he come from (without even knowing he’s adopted). My replies vary…my latest reply to a rude woman was “Mars” and I walked away…sheesh
5. Is his father white? (Really? I am amazed at people sometimes…wanna ask “Is your Aunt dead?” Would be just as appropriate
6. He’s so friendly
7. Why is he staring at me
8. Bet he keeps you hoppin
It’s nice to make a list and see that despite some of the awkward/rude comments/questions, there are also lots of compliments as well!
Harriet Fancott harriet@karmavore.com
I have had…
My child is mixed too (my daughter is actually not)
Are you the babysitter?
Is her father black?
wow, she is tall! (she is only 30 – 50th percentile, so technically she is on the small side)
she has so much language
Is she Ethiopian? (Nope)
She is beautiful (thank you)
she is quite the dancer
Is she almost 4? (nope, just turned 3)
1. Top response…She’s sooooooooo dark!
Really, she doesn’t seem that dark to me. She’s just my kid.
To which, one day I will reply to the comment above…
“Well, she IS an Arabian princess you know”. GASP!
Once the ‘adoption’ word gets dropped, I get…
2. Did her ‘real mom’ do drugs?
3. Was she young?
4. Does she see her?
5. Doesn’t that bother you???
Ah hem…frick off lady.
Wow. That’s seriously intrusive.
Harriet Fancott harriet@karmavore.com
Totally happened!!! I just looked at the woman and gave her this WTF stare down. A lot of people are so intrusive about ‘needing’ to know about our birthfamily. Drives me mad!!!
Where did you get her? (Target)
What do you put on her hair? (You really want a beauty lesson)
How tall is her Mom? (which one)
How old was she when you got her? (72)
She’s so cute. (Duh)
Do you have any kids of your own? (Yep, this one. Ass.)
Blerg…! Can’t wait to be called ASHY though 😉
Harriet Fancott harriet@karmavore.com
She must look like her dad. (well, they are both brown)
Did you take a class to learn to do her hair? (no)
Is it hard? (sigh)
Does she have sisters/brothers? (many, I usually just leave it at that, I can’t decide if they are talking about our older girls or prying into birth family info)
Where did she come from? ( I am always amazed by the people shocked that she is from our state.)
“Wow look at those brown eyes!” (said as if they are particularly exotic. which they are not. unless you are in white-people central where I live. I am not white.)
“Look how light your little one’s hair is! Beautiful! She must look like her daddy! So much lighter than her big sister. And look at those light eyes, were they blue when she was born?” (guess how upsetting it is to always have your lighter-skinned, lighter-haired and lighter-eyed child’s looks commented on and the only comment ever about child #1 who is perfect and amazing is that she has brown eyes)