Things go from hilarious to awkward in the blink of an eye where there’s a filterless three-year-old around.
Theo has a disturbing habit of calling the elderly, the infirm, and rounder than average “scary” or “monsters.”
- In Starbucks:“Mommy! [finger point] Look at the that scary man!” Me: “Oookay … Would like a sip of ice tea… how about we sit outside?”
- On the sidewalk approaching an older man with a cane walking gingerly along the sidewalk. “Mommy, that man a monster?!” Me: “No he’s a man … Please say hello: “Hello man!”
- On the bus: “Hey scary lady [ pointing]! You brown?” Me: “Theo look, did you see that fire truck.. and our stop is coming right up… need a snack? … are you read to get off the bus? …”
On the upside, he often says hilarious (but still awkward) things without realizing it.
- At Stanley Park upon seeing a tall, middle-aged black man with long dreadlocks died blonde: “Oh Mom. Look at that beautiful man … so beautiful.”
- In a coffee shop while running towards the back: “Don’t move! I be right back. I poo!” And just to make sure the entire coffee shop is aware, he stops at each table, grabs the customer’s arm and tells each one to their face that he’s going to go poo.”
- To me: “Mama, you so handsome.” … then [looking closely at my eye]: “Dat a crack?” Me: “Um no … that’s a … wrinkle.” Theo: “Dat a wreenkle… oohhh.”
- To the entire store: [pointing at me]. “This is MY mommy. MINE! Not yours!”
And then, of course, there’s the more run-of-the-mill potty mouth: “See dat truck peeyou peeyou? You peeyou peeyou bum bum? We go store peeyou peeyou” … ad nauseum….
Do your children say cringe-worthy things? How do you handle it?