Movies, TV shows and books make great conversation openers about adoption, or so they say. Take the opening episode of Pingu where sister Pinga is born for example.
Pingu and his baby egg sister.
Pinga started her life as an egg nurtured and warmed by the bottoms of various family members. Pingu, of course, just made mischief with the egg. Miraculously, the egg survives, and eventually, Pinga’s pointy beak pecks through her shell et voila, a mewling baby arrives on the scene much like any other cartoon penguin-person.
I immediately asked Theo if he also came from an egg, thinking this would be a great opportunity to talk about his beginnings.
In typical three-year-old fashion, he exclaimed loudly: “No! I crack through the egg, jump up and poo!”
Surprisingly, he didn’t squeeze in a monster reference.
Laugh. Sigh.
Nothing brings the facts of life up close and personal quite like adoption. After I stopped laughing, my brain wheels started spinning, and I thought I should say: “No … actually, you didn’t crack through the shell of an egg, you came from your birthmother [insert name].”
Then the second-guessing and backtracking began. Hmmm… nah … maybe I should say: “No actually, you came from your birthmother S’s tummy (oh no, then she becomes the dreaded ‘tummy mummy’)…. No… belly! No stomach… No … uterus! … [Mom – what’s a uterus? – no not ready for that] … how about … “Well … you see your birthmother S. and your Birthfather K., well they, um… anyway… Do you want a juice?”
Next time.
When did you explain the facts of life or adoption to your kids? And how?
Mara LOVES that episode with Pinga’s birth. I know when she was younger I’d say “You were born from your mother’s body.” I still use that kind of language so they know that mammals are born from their mothers’ bodies, have hair or fur, and drink milk.
I just had to buy a book on bodies and babies for Nia, who’s 6, and we’re working through it. I did kind of gloss over what the two naked grownups are doing in bed in that one picture, and it’s a few more days until we get to that….
ooohhhh… I like that. BODY! *lightbulb*
Mea has a really bad habit of asking me life’s major questions while we are in the car, usually pulled up at the drive-thru window somewhere.
We had a brief “where do babies come from” conversation while sitting in the car waiting at our pharmacist’s drive-up, she was four. Pretty sure the pharmacist and staff got a pretty good laugh from that one, since they had left the intercom on.
Not sure if you remember Eve’s “I’m so grossed out I can hardly speak, going away to try to forget, if i ask again don’t tell me” moment, but let’s just say my example is one you should squarely not follow.
Love that Pingu. So lovely and non-distracting .. I love that I can actually write while Pingu is on because they’re speaking Penguin and I can just tune it out.
I agree with Thorn up-comment about babies coming from bodies as opposed to eggs.. II explained uterus to my kiddo because of the whole understanding the digestive system thing, so he was pretty sure babies and poop came from the same place. I had to correct that. Also..and this will come for Theo too, probably, my son was insisting I MUST have a penis so we discussed the whole reproductive tract on one particular car ride.
that penguin is so cute
Jack loves Pingu.
Sarah went through a stage about a year ago where she was asking a lot of questions about where she came from, how she was born etc. After Saleema Noon visited our school a few years ago, I knew I was supposed to say it all matter of factly, etc. When I told her she laughed and then proceeded to grill Adam about his job in the whole making a baby process. Adam was just glad I had fielded the hard questions.
I tell Baby Spouse “this is a picture of Nella whose tummy you grew in” but we’ll just use her first name, not “tummy mummy” as we also think it’s cheesy. He’s too young to understand anything, but in some ways that makes it easier to start now.
it’s so hard when they’re so young. we’ve talked with J about how kids are born into families or adopted into families, and we’ve talked about the different ways babies are born (through bellies like her sister who left a big scar, or, er, out the other way). and also in the hospital (like Z) or at home (like J).
I’ve started using real words because I had to explain why boys can’t grow babies in their bellies. So I told her about mama’s uterus and she thought that word was hiLArious. I even have a video of her laughing about how silly my uterus is for kicking baby Z out so early.
but yeah, I’m still waiting for her to ask HOW babies get INTO the belly (or uterus). it’s coming, I know, I can feel it. we’ve danced around it a few times but she’s never asked outright. yet. because then that will lead to a whole other set of questions that I haven’t had to answer yet, about her bio father…